Hey y'all! Hope and pray that all is well, and that your morning has been great thus far! Thank you for the continuous support, love, and encouragement. I receive an email (at least) a day from y'all just expressing your gratitude and encouraging me to keep on doing what I am doing. Y'all do not realize how much that helps me to push through even the hardest times. Y'all's faithfulness in reading and contacting me brings me to today's blog. I am about to get somewhat personal, and I hope you read until the end.
I knew in my dad's younger days that he had struggled with gangs, alcohol, and drugs... But, he had gotten saved. He attended church with my mother and continued to for some time after I was born. He eventually backslid, and had only came through the doors a few times afterwards. Fast forward several years down the road... One morning, he got up and basically said he had had enough, and left. No reason or rhyme... he just left. He left my family and I... that was five years ago. Talk about completely flipping our life upside down. My faith and trust were completely shattered. I immediately knew that I, being the oldest, would have to step up. I needed to get a job. I needed to help momma pay the bills. But, how? I am only fifteen. I am still in school. I do not know how to even start. Momma picked up some extra little side jobs here and there. Sometimes, we did not have food in the pantry. Sometimes, we did not make the due date on bills, utilities, and payments. Sometimes ,we did not have gas to get to church. Still, momma would say, "God is always faithful."
Daddy is still gone. He does not communicate with us. We do not know where he is or even if he is alive half of the time. So, when annual recertification on the house came about, (this year, 2018), we were worried. We live in a house that Muscogee (Creek) Nation built for us, and every year, we have to recertify. This means the head of the household (my dad) has to fill out papers, sign, certify, and approve that we still live there, make so much, etc. How were we going to recertify the house without his signature, without his approval? In the previous years, we would vacation to California to see family, and also get my dad to fill out all the paperwork. We could not afford that this time... what were we going to do? Would we be homeless? On the streets? Would I have to leave the home I had grown up in? Still, momma would say, "God is always faithful."
Creek Nation has this service that allows the head of household to relinquish rights to a house. Taking a leap of faith and trusting God to move, momma sent the recertification papers, along with a relinquishment form, to my father at his address in California. A few weeks later, we received the forms back, fully completed. He had signed over rights to me, but that was not the end of it. I, then, had to get approved by Creek Nation. The questions and doubts soon began to flood my mind: What if they think I am too young? I mean I am only twenty. What if I do not meet all of the requirements? We would lose the house for good! I prayed, but I also questioned whether or not the Lord would move in the situation. After all, it may not be his will. Still, momma would say, "God is always faithful."
Fast forward to about a week ago... April 13, 2018, when I signed the finalization papers on the house... the house that is now under my name! All those doubts, fears, and questions now seem so small. No, my dad has not came back home yet. Yes, we still struggle financially. BUT, my God is faithful. Now, if you would have told me that God would one day use those hurtful, brokenhearted, overwhelming struggles and experiences to encourage other individuals and families who face similar battles, I would have had the HARDEST time believing you. But, boy, does God have a way of bringing good, that is not always easily seen while going through it, out of the difficult circumstances.
I am reminded of Thomas. He did not expect God to bring good out of the greatest challenge of his faith - the crucifixion. Thomas was not present when Jesus appeared to them after the resurrection, and in his grief and doubt insisted that he would not believe it until he saw the nail-scarred hands and was able to put his fingers into them (John 20:25). But when Jesus appeared to all of the disciples, something would rise out of the dust of Thomas's doubts, and God would inspire a striking statement of faith. With that simple statement (verse 28), Thomas was grasping the truth that Jesus was in the flesh, standing before him. A bold expression of faith that would inspire and encourage others in the years and centuries to come. You see, God is able to put in us a faith. A fresh faith that, even in moments when we least expect it, He will put in our hearts. A fresh faith that we can hold on to. God can change our doubts. He can turn our situations around. Nothing is too hard or impossible for him. As momma says, "GOD IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL!"
"...great is thy faithfulness." Lamentations 3:23
